When we judge others we mistakenly assume that we are the ones in power. We are putting someone else down in our own minds. But really all we are doing is just tainting our own inner worlds with negativity. We need to let go of judgments in order to find true peace.
In the words of Sri Sarada Devi, a Hindu Saint often referred to as the “Holy Mother”:
“I tell you one thing. If you want peace of mind, do not find faults in others. Rather learn to see your own faults. Learn to make the whole world your own. No one is a stranger, my child. This whole world is your own.”⠀
Judging someone else is like holding on to a hot coal. You’re just burning yourself, preventing yourself from experiencing true peace of mind. When we let go of judgments, we free ourselves from bondage. We no longer “need” people to be or act any certain way. We can allow others (and ourselves) to simply be as they are.
Turn People Into Trees
Recently transcended, spiritual teacher, Ram Dass created such a beautiful analogy for the practice of non-judgment:
When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”
We can learn to be as kind as a forest- always remembering that the trees are the earth’s hands exalted in praise of the sun.
How to Let Go of Judgments
This is an ongoing, lifelong practice. These deeply ingrained patterns of thinking do not disappear over night. For instance, I am at that awkward phase of spiritual development where I have to keep reminding myself not to judge people who are being judgmental 😜 Here are some practices I use to let go of judgments:
- Noticing your thoughts. Pay close attention to your thoughts and conversations. How much time energy do you spend complaining about other people? When you catch yourself making judgments, take a moment to pause and notice. Our awareness helps us question our unconscious thoughts and transform them into something new.
- Accept others as they are, but don’t tolerate abuse. We have to accept that some people may not be able to overcome their abusive or hurtful tendencies. But accepting that someone is not ready to do this work does not mean that we have to let ourselves be abused. It’s ok to have boundaries and not welcome these people into your life, even if they are your family members. We all need safe space in the beginning of our healing journeys.
- Find a mantra. Using a mantra (a repeated word or phrase that helps to focus the thinking mind) while meditating can be very transformative. Mantras can literally reprogram our brains. Some of my favorites are “I am loving awareness”, “I hold all beings in my loving knowing” or “My heart is full of compassion”. But you can come up with any mantra that speaks to your soul and helps you transcend judgment.
If you enjoyed this post, you will definitely love How to Become a Spiritual Super Hero
Melanie Starseed is the creator of Be Free Mommy, a blog dedicated to inspiring and uplifting women.
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