How to Love Your Face Without Makeup

If you are someone who is prone to feeling anxious and insecure, like I am, then your experience with makeup is probably anything but empowering. For most of my adult life I HATED the way my face looked without makeup. However, I am very proud to say that is in the past. It’s been over 4 years since I have worn makeup of any kind and I have never felt more happy or confident. If you want to learn how to love your face without makeup, here’s how:

Step 1: Get Mad

I remember the moment so clearly. There was one day I was shopping at Target and for the first time I looked, I mean really looked, at the at the three huge fluorescent lit rows of cosmetic products- all meant to change my supposedly flawed face. It was as sudden as the flip of a light switch, I got SO MAD. I spent hours everyday anxiously fretting over my make up and outfits. I cringed every time I caught sight of my unpainted face in the mirror. Most days, I worried about my appearance almost constantly. And the vast majority of all the girls I had ever known suffered from similar crippling afflictions.

For the first time it really sank in: this is an INDUSTRY. There are people out there who were raking in billions of dollars annually by making us all hate ourselves.

Here are Some Facts to Piss You Off

The beauty industry is a multi-billion dollar Goliath that mostly targets women and is still to this day almost exclusively controlled by men.
69% of girls ages 7 to 11 reported that they felt like their physical appearance “wasn’t good enough.”
One in three women feel like they cannot leave their house without make up on.
Many cosmetics contain toxic chemicals such as asbestos, heavy metals, other carcinogens because there have been NO beauty industry safety standard laws enacted in the United States in OVER EIGHT DECADES.

I decided I didn’t want to participate anymore. I didn’t want to help these men profit from crippling all of womenkind’s innate power. I didn’t want to define myself by their misogynistic standards any more.

I wish could tell you I marched out of Target that day, steal firm in my resolve, and immediately dumped my make up bag in the trash. I didn’t. At the time I felt far too insecure about my appearance to let go of make-up that easily. But I was so sick and tired of feeling like I had to do all these things to my body just be acceptable or lovable. I wanted to just be. So one by one, over the course of a couple years, I let go of each piece of my beauty regimen. I took little steps because it’s what my anxiety would allow. How does it feel to not wear foundation? What if I don’t wear eye liner anymore? The mascara was the last to go.

Here’s a look at me in 2009 and in 2019

This past decade has been so incredibly transformative for me. I have learned how to let my body be just as it is and love everything about it.

I want everyone to experience the peace and freedom I have found.

Step 2: Realize that You Have a Choice

For so much of my life I thought I HAD to maintain this beauty aesthetic. It would be the end of all opportunities in my life if I didn’t. People wouldn’t like me. They would judge me. If I wasn’t turning heads, then I was failing at the most important part of being a woman. Or at least that’s how it felt at the time.

But none of these thoughts were really true. On the contrary, now there are so many people who love me BECAUSE I am brave enough to live differently. People will still love you, even if your face isn’t airbrushed perfection. In this hollow consumer culture, people are actually hungry for authenticity. And when we allow ourselves to be as we are, we empower others to do the same.

I discovered that the more comfortable I got in my natural state, the deeper I sank into this well of internal peace and self love that I had never known before. You see, now I don’t care if I’d “look better” any other way. I know my self acceptance and self love is infinitely more powerful than anyone’s judgement about my appearance.

Step 3: Take a Break From Visual Media for Awhile

I mean it. No Netflix. No Instagram. No visual media of any kind for a little (or a long) while. You can decide how long of a visual media detox is right for you. If you find yourself starved for stimulation, switch to Podcasts, Audiobooks, and Music.

This may seem like a tall order, but it is essential so you can finally see how good you look when you aren’t compared to anything. Your mind needs a break from all the hyper-sexualized and extremely manicured images in order to recalibrate. Taking a break from visual media is going to change the way you see yourself and other women. You don’t need to compare or compete anymore. You don’t need the rich white man’s expectations and face paint to define your real beauty. All you need is to just sink deep into your own unapologetic realness and stubborn love for yourself.

Step 4: One Step at a Time

The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. You don’t have to completely dismantle your beauty routine today. Like I said, it took me years to get to where I am now. So take baby steps. Be gentle with yourself. Think about which individual step of your beauty routine would be the easiest to let go of. Try going without it for at least 2 weeks and see how you feel afterwards. If that feels comfortable, try letting another step go.

You may be surprised to find that some things are rather easy to let go of. Others will be more challenging. For me, eye make up was the hardest to stop using. But eventually, my desire to know what it was like to live as my completely authentic self overcame my anxiety about my face not “looking pretty.”

Step 5: Reclaim Your Power

Little by little, you will start to gain confidence that is stronger than ever before because it does not come from something you bought in a store. This is real self-confidence. Women are magical creatures with many innate super powers. But so many of us are completely cut off from these abilities because so much of our psychic energy is getting used up in chronic insecurity and anxiety.

In our social media saturated, superficial consumer culture – that for too long has been profiting from making women feel cripplingly insecure – loving yourself exactly as you are can be one of the most powerful forms of activism. Let’s liberate ourselves till we liberate us all!

If you liked this post, you will definitely enjoy How to Love Our Aging Bodies